True Friend ... With Real Benefits!

I Have A Friend And The Benefits Are To Die For! 

Are You Out Of Your Tiny Mind!?! 

Oh, Yes, I Am And I'm Loving It! 

Somebody Call 911!

Gracilla Done Gone And Lost Her Mind! 

Oh, No, She Hasn't! 

She Has Made The Best Decision Ever ...!

... You've Lost Your Mind, Too! 

You'd Do Well To Lose Yours And Join Us! 

Excuse Me!?! 

Why Would I Join You Heathens In Committing Known Sin!?! 

You Would Join Us, Too, If You Know Who The Friend Is! 

I Sincerely Doubt That

And I Rebuke You All In Jesus Christ's Holy Name! 

Wait, I Thought She Said, I Distinctly Heard Her Say That

She Doesn't Want Any Friend With Benefits

So Why Is She Calling His Name!?! 

What Are You Talking About!?! 

Dear Chantelle ...! 

... Call Her CINO Aka Christian In Name Only!

She's Not Going To Like That At All! 

Life's Hard! 

She'll Get Over It ... Eventually! 

If She Doesn't, She'll Never Get Over The Separating Line! 

Since You Put It Like That ...!

Dear CINO, 

We Are Talking About You

Who Claim The Name Of Jesus Christ

But

You Eat Your Own Bread

And

You Wear Your Own Clothing!

You, Dear Heart, Are Depriving Yourself Of

The Rich And Royal Benefits That

He Has And Gives Freely

To Us To Whom He Is The One True Friend! 

Oh, Dear Lord!
I Think I Need To Sit Down! 

Sweet Girl, You Are Sitting Down! 

What You Need To Do Is Stand Up

And

Humbly Claim Your Relationship

With The True Friend ... Jesus Christ The Lord

With Real Benefits ... Which Lead To The Heavenly Reward! 

I, I, I ...! 

... Close Your Mouth! 

You Look Like A Guppy! 

Yeah! 

Close Your Mouth And Open Your Heart

And Feel The Love! 

For All The Days When You Think That No One Loves You
And 
No Cares For Your Personal Well-Being
Remember That There Is God The Savior
Jesus Christ The Lord
Who Knows Your Name
And 
Personally ... With Mercy Because Of Love
Provides For You
And 
You Don't Even Have To Beg! 

Urgently Call On Him!
Eagerly Share Your Heart!
Lovingly Touch The Holy Hand Of Help
And 
Peacefully Rest Under His Sheltering Wings 
Where It Is Always Safe To Abide! 
Waiting For You, Beloved
Is 
The Open Treasury Filled With Innumerable Blessings 
Of Which Forgiveness ... That Ever Heals
Is 
Foremost! 

Jesus Christ ... The One True Friend
The Divine Friend
Who Provides Innumerable Blessings And Bounties
And
Benefits Which Always Include Our Daily Bread
Sacrificially Loves You And Me: 
Touch The Holy God Gracious Who Is Near And Dear
And 
Know His Perfect Peace!
He Forever Lives And ... He Unstintingly Gives!

Come To Jesus Christ

Because

He Loves You

And

Gives The Best Blessings And Benefits

And Then

Stay In The Relationship

Because

You Realize That You, Indeed

Eagerly Return His Love

And

Would Stay With Him Forever

Even If He Gave You Nothing More!

Christian ... Self ...!

Christian In-Name Only
And
Self Will-Be Hidden
Are Brethren Beloved Of The Faith!
Both Are Christ Lovers
- At Least Both Act That Way -
But
They Are As Different As Salt And Sugar
Salt Fish And Sweetmeats
And
Salt Of The Earth
And
Pride Of Life!

Jessie?!

Yes, Graffie?!

You Know That I Ain't Too Bright
So Could You Please ... I Begging You
Explain That Juxtaposition Between
Salt Of The Earth And The Pride Of Life!?!

Yes, Smarty Pants!

It Is Like This ...

Self Will-Be Hidden
Is A Meek And Gentle Spirit
Against Whom No Law Can Stand!
He Walks Softly In The Sanctuary
He Does The Lord's Business On The Down-Low
And
He Knows Who It Is In Whom He Steadfastly Believes!

His Jesus Is Salvation-Real
And
He Does Not Stand Up And Testify
About How Many Where When Why And How
He Rendered Service To The Brethren In Need!

He Lives A Poor And Peaceful Life
Is Unfailingly Polite
And
You Will Only Know What He Has Done
Because The Recipients' Gratitude 

Is Spoken Of By Them To The Congregation!

Self Will-Be Hidden

Is Not Into Bells And Whistles
Nor Accolades And Awards!

By Contrast
And
In Definite Opposition To Self Will-Be Hidden
Christian In-Name Only Despises
Godly Example
And
Righteous Course
And
Completely Studiously Ignores
Faithful Instruction!

It's Sad Because These Three Would Have Led Him
And His Family
And His Servants
And Even His Observers
To Fear
To Love
And
To Give Due Reverence To The Holy God!

Something Had To Give ... And It Did!

As You All Surely Know
Man Cannot Make Mock-Sport At
The True And Living Eternal Holy God
With Impunity!

Mr. Christian In-Name Only
Because
He Did Not Love The Living Truth
Started Loving The Bold Lie
And SoonThat One-Name Demon, Christalignment
And
The Spirit-Driven Know-It-All, Destiny Card
Were Doing Future-Pursuit Love-Ins
In The Creator God's Sanctuary!

These Heathens Were Sincerely Bold
Helpfully Officious
And
Tenaciously Persistent
In Getting Believers To Join
The Backsliding-Heifer Group!

Where, Oh, Where, Is
Simple Primitive Faith!?!

Heads-Up, People ...

The Living God Holy

Faithful And True
Does Not Like Unkindness
Deceit
Lies
Nor Idolatry
And
That Backsliding-Heifer Group
Sincerely Practiced All Of These!

Christian In-Name Only
Church Board Member
Gold-Level Coffer Contributor
Greedy For Temporal Gain
Man Around Town
Who Ever Always Has A Listening Air 

To The Vibrating Ground
Is 

An Ace Recruiter For The Area BHG!

He Could Make An Esquimo Buy Ice
And
Believe Or Not
He Doesn't Do Cheap!
He Can't Spell Free
And
The Use Of The Word "Gift"
Causes His So-Called Placid Countenance
To Do The Wrong-Direction Shift!
He Does Not Ever Anyone's Low Spirit Lift!

One Truly Sweet Day
Petticoat Lane
Goodtime Charlie
Toss D. Coin
Coin A. Phrase
Miller Time
Hoochie Mama
Rum Still
And
Mount Gay
Descended En masse
Uninvited
Upon Christian In-Name Only's 

Show-Room Residence!
There Was A Blow-Out Party In Full Swing!

The Joint Was Jumping!

Truth Be Told ...

Lies Were Being Sold!
Alternative Facts Were Being Exchanged!
False News Was Not On Hold!
Licensed Liar Was In Full Control!
Devil Dog Was Being Bold
And
Grudge Match Was About To Unfold!

Compromising Position
- The Instigator Of Many A Palace Coup -
Along With Petticoat Lane
And Hoochie Mama
Were Strategically Draped Over
Christian In-Name Only
Who Had A Paro In His Right Hand
And
Mount Gay In His Left Hand!

Unbeknownst To Those Present
Photo Graphic Was Manipulating
Camera Lens
And
Thousand-Word Picture
- Ever At The Ready -
Framed The Scene!

Three Days Later ...

Sunday Times
Published The News:

Big-Up Christian In-Name Only

Caught Dishabille: Compromising Position On Display!

As Every Living Body Done Know
On The Fourth Day
Corruption Sets In
And
The Body (In Question) Started A Stink!

Caught Dead-To-Rights

Christian In-Name Only Tried 

To Bring Down Heaven

The Very Heaven He Had Joyfully  Disdained
As Recent As 24 Hours Ago!

He Cried Entrapment!
He Lambasted Photo Shop!
He Derided CGI!
He Swore At Green Screen!

He Called For Mercy!
He Hollered For Grace!
He Prayed For Salvation!
He Keened For Truth!

He Wished For Light!

He Considered Flight
But ThoughtThat That Would Mean Good Night
To All His Beloved Delights
Of The Flesh ...

And Realized ...

That Exposed Flesh Had Gotten Him
Into His Predicament In The First Place

And

He Decided To Brazen It Out:

Yes, I Did It!

But ... It Was To Prove A Point!

He Didn't Have The Decency To Be Sorry!

And ...

He Was Now Into
Covering Up Known Sin ... With Another Known Lie!

Well, Well, Well!

All Of A Sudden
- Like Lightning -
In The Midst Of His White Castle Whopper
Tor Nado Blew In
And
Lifted Off The Roof
Pulled Apart The Walls
And
Mashed Up All The Pleasant Things
That Furnished The Memorial To Gross Vanity!

When The Howling Finally Settled
The Only Thing Not Broken
Was A Beautifully Inscribed Plaque Which Read:

He Is Faithful To His Promises

So Humble Your Puny Self 

Under The Mighty Hand 

Of

The Just And Living Holy God

And

He Will Lift You Up

In His Own Time!

Christian In-Name Only

Had Lost Everything Last Thing That

He Had Considered Necessary To His High Life

And Without Preamble

The Vanquished Was Heard Sorrowfully
Yet Somehow Joyfully Singing:

Lord, I Want To Be A Christian!

Search My Heart Today!

I Am Delivered! 

I Have Come To Praise You Now! 

Please Help Me! 

I Am Clean! 

Draw Me Nearer! 

I Am Thine! 

I Thirst! 

Throw Out A Lifeline! 

Fill Me ... Now!

The Irony Of It All Was Not Lost
On The Assembled Townspeople!

Self Will-Be Hidden Was The Only Person
Who Offered A Helping Hand!