I Have A Friend And The Benefits Are To Die For!
Are You Out Of Your Tiny Mind!?!
Oh, Yes, I Am And I'm Loving It!
Somebody Call 911!
Gracilla Done Gone And Lost Her Mind!
Oh, No, She Hasn't!
She Has Made The Best Decision Ever ...!
... You've Lost Your Mind, Too!
You'd Do Well To Lose Yours And Join Us!
Excuse Me!?!
Why Would I Join You Heathens In Committing Known Sin!?!
You Would Join Us, Too, If You Know Who The Friend Is!
I Sincerely Doubt That
And I Rebuke You All In Jesus Christ's Holy Name!
Wait, I Thought She Said, I Distinctly Heard Her Say That
She Doesn't Want Any Friend With Benefits
So Why Is She Calling His Name!?!
What Are You Talking About!?!
Dear Chantelle ...!
... Call Her CINO Aka Christian In Name Only!
She's Not Going To Like That At All!
Life's Hard!
She'll Get Over It ... Eventually!
If She Doesn't, She'll Never Get Over The Separating Line!
Since You Put It Like That ...!
Dear CINO,
We Are Talking About You
Who Claim The Name Of Jesus Christ
But
You Eat Your Own Bread
And
You Wear Your Own Clothing!
You, Dear Heart, Are Depriving Yourself Of
The Rich And Royal Benefits That
He Has And Gives Freely
To Us To Whom He Is The One True Friend!
Oh, Dear Lord!
I Think I Need To Sit Down!
I Think I Need To Sit Down!
Sweet Girl, You Are Sitting Down!
What You Need To Do Is Stand Up
And
Humbly Claim Your Relationship
With The True Friend ... Jesus Christ The Lord
With Real Benefits ... Which Lead To The Heavenly Reward!
I, I, I ...!
... Close Your Mouth!
You Look Like A Guppy!
Yeah!
Close Your Mouth And Open Your Heart
And Feel The Love!
For All The Days When You Think That No One Loves You
And
No Cares For Your Personal Well-Being
Remember That There Is God The Savior
Jesus Christ The Lord
Who Knows Your Name
And
Personally ... With Mercy Because Of Love
Provides For You
And
You Don't Even Have To Beg!
Urgently Call On Him!
Eagerly Share Your Heart!
Lovingly Touch The Holy Hand Of Help
And
Peacefully Rest Under His Sheltering Wings
Where It Is Always Safe To Abide!
Waiting For You, Beloved
Is
The Open Treasury Filled With Innumerable Blessings
Of Which Forgiveness ... That Ever Heals
Is
Foremost!
Jesus Christ ... The One True Friend
The Divine Friend
Who Provides Innumerable Blessings And Bounties
And
Benefits Which Always Include Our Daily Bread
Sacrificially Loves You And Me:
Touch The Holy God Gracious Who Is Near And Dear
And
Know His Perfect Peace!
He Forever Lives And ... He Unstintingly Gives!
Come To Jesus Christ
Because
He Loves You
And
Gives The Best Blessings And Benefits
And Then
Stay In The Relationship
Because
You Realize That You, Indeed
Eagerly Return His Love
And
Would Stay With Him Forever
Even If He Gave You Nothing More!
