Can't Catch-A-Break And 'e Self!

In This Corner
Wearing Tangerine Trunks
Displaying Squeakers And Squawkers
Is 

Can't Catch-A-Break!

He Is A 100-Pound Weakling
BUT
Surprise And Shock
He Can Dead Lift
Clean And Jerk
AND
Snatch
The Heaviest Weight That It Is Possible
For Any Human
Who Ever Lived
Or Will Ever Live
To Consciously Bear!

He Can Raise That Weight
Even Sitting In A Comfy Chair!

Yeahhhh! 

                             Woo Hoo!

In That Corner
Wearing White Trunks 

With A Blue Border And Fringes
Is Dah Christian!

Dah Christian's Recorded Heaviest Weight Lifted Is
Old King James
AND
He Can Do It On The Run
Sitting
Standing
Walking
AND
Ever Spinning Around!

He Can Accomplish Feats Of Greatness 

Just By A Flick Of The Wrist
AND
He Does Something Called
Witness!

Boooooo!

                        Boooooo!                                              Boooooo!
                                                             Useless!
             Go Home!

Are You Ready To Rumble?!

Yeah! Bring It On!

No, I Am Not!

Dah Christian Got To Be An Idiot!

                           Catcha Is Gonna Wipe The Floor With Him!

This Does Not Seem Real!                                              They Are Not In The Same League!

Catcha!
First Statement:

Your Soap Doan Sud!
Your Brush Can't Scrub
And
Every Coin In Your Pocket
Ain't Nothing But Crooked Slugs!!

Why?! How?!
You If, But And And!
I'll Kill You!
I'll Rip You A New One!

Beeeeep!!

Yeahhhh!! I Told You!

Christian!
First Statement:

You Are A Liar!
A Loafer!
A Bold And Grand Sleaze!
You Nickel And Dime Widows
And
All Your Clean Dogs Got Ticks And Fleas!

10 Seconds On The Clock!

Why Won't He Respond?!

3
2
1
BEEEEEEEEEP!!

ROUND 2!

Catcha!
You're Thin-Skinned
A Tight-Wad
A Sheep-Stealer
And A Fraud!

You ...

You ...! You ...! Ooohhh!!!
I'm Gonna Rip Your Tongue Out!
I'll Scalp You!
I'll Put Salt In Your Eye!

Beeeeep!

Yeah!                                                           Yeah!
                    He's Winning!                                                       Look At His Muscles Bulge!

Christian!
You Scored No Points Last Round! 

Let's See What You Can Do This Round!
You Have Got To Defend Your Self!
It's The Way Of The World!

The Accusation Is:

You Are A Liar!
A Crier!
You Steal Pension Funds!
You Play With Light Skirts!
You Imbibe Rot-Gut White Rum!

The Audience Gasps!
Catcha Steps Back!
Dah Christian Kneels Down!

What Is He Doing!

                                            Maybe He's Saying His Prayers!

The Crowd Roars!

Beep! Beep! Beeeeeep!!!

Catcha Wins!
He Lifted High His Self!
He Came To His Own Defense!
He Stuck To His Guns ...!?!

Craaaack!!

What Was That!?!

                  Look! Look!!

Catcha Just Dropped Through The Floor!

Wha ... Why ... How!?!

Catcha? Catcha?
You Alright, Man?!

Nooo! No O ooh!
I Broke My Seeeelf!

My Self Is Too Heavy!
Ask Dah Christian For Help!

Christian! Dah Christian!
Catcha Git Broken By 'e Self!
Can You Help Him?
Please Help Him!
He Said He Can No Longer Depend On His Self!

Dah Christian Responded:

Self Has No Back Prop
No Footing
It's Head Is Always Bare
So
Tell That Can't Catcha
To Let go Of Self
And He Will Rise Up!
Tell Him To Have No Fear!
He Will Float In The Air!

Catcha?!
Can You Hear Me?!

Baaarely! Just Baaarely!

Nevertheless, Listen Good!

Dah Christian Says
Let Go Of Self
For He Says That Is How
The Devil's Darts Are Withstood!

Christian Says

Don't Jump
At Every Slight And Insult
For
A Soft Answer
Turns Away Wrath
And Even Better
Silence Is Golden
For
With God's Blessing
The World Can Be Withstood!

And, Furthermore

He Says There's To Be

No More Carrying Around
That Hock-Hobbled Golden Calf!

He's Up! He's Up!               Catch Just Stood Up!                                               He's Going To Be All Right! 

Catcha Is Standing Firmly On His Feet!

Not Long Thereafter ...

Christian! Dah Christian!
Where You Learn All That Good Stuff?!

I Lift High Old King James!
I Flutter All His Pages
AND
He Ruffles The Whorls On My Brain!
AND
By The Faith Of Jesus Christ
I Withstand Satan's Rages!

You Don't Say?!

I Accept All Of Christ's Teaching!
I Was Like You
But I Accepted The Word Against Self
For
I No Longer Wanted To Be World Champion
Lifting The Heaviest Weight In The World
My - The - Self!

Self Desires Supremacy!
Self Is Its Own God!
Self Sits On A Self-made Throne
Compliments Of King Fraud!

I Am Not King Of My Life!
Jesus Christ Holds That Prime Place
So
All My Burdens
The Barbs Of This Life
I Cast Them All On Him!
And
With Full Confidence
In My Lord Christ
I Can
The Wicked World
Face!

As Easy As That?!

As Easy As *That!*

Jesus Attends!
Defends!
Contends!
I Pray And I Obey
For
I Gave Self To My Savior
That Dragon
For To Slay!

Now ... It's Good Bye To You
And
I Pray
You Have A Blessed Day!

Wow!What A Nice Man!

That's A Good Christian!

Pity He Didn't Fight For Self ...!

He Didn't Need To
For
He Has The Lord Christ
On His Side!

G.R.B. & T: Health's Greatest Safeguards

Health's Greatest Safeguards
Are
G. R. B & T.
These Should Be
The Keynotes Of Life
Setting Us Up
Not For A Loss
In The Terminal Fight
BUT
For The Blessed Life
In God's Eternity
Where God 

AND

The Lamb

Are The Light!

Gratitude

To God

Is Paramount!

Rejoicing 

In God's Favor 

Should Hail The Day!

Benevolence 

To Brother-Man
Should Not Be Far Behind 

Nor Forgotten
AND
Trust 

In The Love
AND

Care Of The Great God
Should Open Up
AND
Close Out
Our Every Day

AND

Mark Our Way!

Let Our Hearts Be

In God

Ever Glad!!

There Is A Way
That Seemeth Right To A Man
BUT
Therein Is The Way To Destruction
AND
All Who Walk Right
In Their Own Eyesight
Shall Forever
Always
Be Involved In 

A Right-To-Life Fist-Fight!

Let No Man Kill Your Hope Tree
Nor Remove Pages
From Your Praising-God Journaling Book
Nor
Permit Anyone
To Steal Your Joy
Or

Cause You To Doubt
That Our God Is Trustworthy!
Give Doubt The Rout!

Our God
IS

Faithful
Good Honest Kind
Loving
AND
Forever True
Loving Also The Unloving
Rescuing The Calculating

AND

Providing Ever Even

For The Cruel

The Ungodly
AND
The Rabidly Untrue!

Let Us To Him Be Faithful!
Let Us For Our Brethren Care!
Let Us In The Name Of Jesus
Do Mighty Exploits
AND
Do Not Permit The Prince Of Darkness
To Consign Us To The Underfoot Staff
Because
We Choose Not Jesus Christ
BUT

Choose Instead
The Burnable
Breakable
Perishable
Thoroughly Useful-For-Nothing
Fallen-Man-Built Golden Calf!

Christ IS Coming For All Such With Wrath!

Love The Giving God

And

Give The Loving God

His Glory

For Therein Is 

The Reward

Of

Everlasting Gain!