At any given Divine Service, you will find The Pastors pontificating on "The Merits of The Gospel" as though The Gospel has Inherent Demerits!
If you heard one of them speak, you heard all of them speaking - with a few idiosyncrasies, of course.
Pastor Vain spoke ad nauseum of his "foine" self and his mastery of Biblical "Mustyries!" If you found a mention of Jesus or God in any of his sermons, count yourself blessed!
Pastor Lain was, well, a poseur who knew a lot of nothing about trifles ... and he was a ladies man! He sold the congregation on his personal merits as a passionate purveyor of the Gospel, particularly The Song of King Solomon ... "be...oot...i...fulllll!"
Pastor Drain always wanted donations for this, that, and the other project which was always just short of goal, and when you left his service, you were physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially drained.
Pastor Paine was never satisfied unless somebody in the congregation was on the floor howling for help, hold me, and hallelujah! "Water from Stone!" is his motto!
Pastor Plain was of the position that The Plain Word was Plainly Powerful, and Exposition was execrable! He saw no need to help the Seekers to understand anything. He seems to have forgotten that Jesus Christ "taught" the People!
Pastor Inane was The Boss: Pray. Pass the plate. Say two iffy words - done Preach! He done gone! ...So is his mind!
Pastor X. Plain could, well, explain the moo out of a cow! He always has diarrhea! His mouth doesn't stop running, and he never arrives at The Conclusion Of The Whole Matter! He leave the congregation well, empty.
Pastor Disdain has never met an act of an Apostle with which he could not find fault, nor the Discipline of Discipleship that he will not denigrate. He probably writes his own bible ... on demand!
Idiosyncrasies aside, these Pastors were one:
1. Don't ask them questions.
Who is The Pastor here?
Read my lips!
2. Don't correct their errors.
Who called YOU?
When were YOU called to be The Pastor?
2. Don't ask them the significance of Christ's Baptism, nor its significance to a Believer desiring to be baptized.
Christ was baptized, and so should you!
End of story.
Dear Ones:
Jesus Christ said "Repent and be baptized everyone of you!" ... to pay for your sin.
Almighty God said "Come let us reason together ..!"
The Spirit says "Come!"
The Flesh says "Go!"
The Heart says "So?!"
The Devil says "Enjoy my Show!"
We need to know Jesus for ourselves, and what He represents to, and for, us!
Jesus Christ is The Way, The Truth, The Light and The Life.
Jesus calls all His Children to renounce the Old Man (Sin) and put on New Life (Salvation).
Jesus calls us to Walk Holy for He IS Holy.
Jesus also calls us to be Wise.
Since Our God did not say "Do!" because He said so, but gave us all a reason To Do because He wants an "educated consumer of The Gospel," let us indeed be wise unto Saving of Our Own Souls by not accepting "food" that is only of the "cut and swallow" persuasion.
Let us not permit ourselves to be made merchandise of by The Carnal Purveyors of The Gospel.
Let us lift up God so that His Light shines upon us, and in us.
Let us Study to Show that we are worthy of our Hire (Salvation) for, in Heaven, all residents will have given "Satisfied With Jesus Christ Consent" after having been given "Full Disclosure to The Transaction for The Acceptance of a Home In Glory Land."
Almighty God needs us to be in "The Know!"
Let us not let The Hirelings cheat us of Our Daily Bread - The Water of Life!
Almighty God Preserved His Word to The Saving of Our Souls, so
Let's Eat!
Don't Let The Eye-Servants Cheat
Us of The Bread of Life!
Let us The Word Chew
To be Renewed!
Let us The Living Word Swallow
So that Our Soul-Ground will not be Fallow!
Let us of The Water of Life Drink
Let us Thank God, and for Ourselves Think
So that The Devil can't cause us to Stink and Sink!
Come On!!
Let's Eat ... and Repeat!!
