GRACE: Living Off The Eternal Welfare Department!?!

The Sign Out Front Read

"Laughter Doeth Good Like A Medicine

And

Bitterness Destroys Your Soul!"

The Interior Wasn't Anything To Write Home About!
It Was Clean, White, Fresh-Smelling
And
Peaceful
And
The Workers There Are A Heavenly Delight!

They're So Helpful And Accommodating
Without Overwhelming You With Reams Of 
Paperwork And Red Tape
And
I Was In And Out Of There 
In Two Shakes Of A Lamb's Tail!

You Are A, Uh, Ahm... A Snot-Faced Liar!

That's Strong Language Coming From You, Baby Girl!
Why Are You Being So Acid!?!

I'm Being Acid Brudda Man
Becausen Their Ain't No Welfare Department 

On This Here Planet That Is At One And The Same Time
User-Friendly Accommodating ... As You State 

With Workers Of Heavenly Delight!

Who Said Anything About 

Going To A Welfare Department 

Anywhere On This Planet!?!

Huh!?!

Okay, Bright Spark!

If The Welfare Department You Went To 

Isn't On This Planet Called Terra Firm Aka Earth
Aka The Scene Of Mankind's Fall From Grace
Pray Tell Us Where You Went To The "Welfare Department!?!"

Sweet Girl, You Need To Raise Your Standards A Smidge!
I Went To The Eternal Welfare Department
And
I Spoke To The Director
The Man In Charge ... First!

He Gave Me Bread And Water
And
A Gigantic Stack Of High-Value Vouchers
Usable By Me Only And Alone!

That Sounds Truly Amazing! 

Instead Of Carrying Around

A Load Of Paper Filled With Legalese
I've Got Something I Can Really Spend!

Tell Us What You Got
And Don't Leave Anything Out!

Okay!
Here It Goes!

I Have In My Hot Hands

• A Personal Voucher For A Lamp
• A Personal Voucher For Oil
• A Personal Voucher For Indestructible, Unimpeachable Clothing
• A Personal Voucher For Reasoning Sessions With Him
• A Personal Voucher For Forgiveness Of Sin
• A Personal Voucher For Justification
• A Personal Voucher For Sanctification
• A Personal Voucher For Glorification
• Desire For Confession And Repentance
• Desire To Share The Good News
• Daily Grace
• Daily Faith
• Daily Communion With The King
• Obedience
• Endurance
• Peace
• Rest
• No Doubt
• No Disbelief
• No Gainsaying
• Resist The Devil
• Equipment For Service
• Talents
• Hope
• No Second Death
• Admission Through My Overcome Character-Flaw Pearl Gate
• Prayer Power
• Pleading
• Supplication
• Importunate Prayer
• Prayer Of Thanksgiving
• Gratitude
• Gold Crown
• Harp Of Gold
• New Name
• Overcomer's Palm
• A Place In One Of The Mansion In The Father's House
• A Plot In The New Earth ...!

... Wow!
You're Making Me Tired
Hearing Of And Holding This Load Of Blessings
You're Rattling Off And Passing To Me!

You Haven't Heard The Best One Yet!

Hurry Up!
This Load Of Blessings Is Heavy!

This One Is Immense!
It Reads:

This Voucher

Entitles

The Person Named

To Receive Those Things Which

The Human Eye

Has Not Seen

Nor The Human Ear

Has Ever Heard Told

That The Lord God Almighty

The Creator Of The Universe

Has Prepared

For This Beloved Child

Who Faithfully, Enduringly, Loves Him!

Uh, Oh!
Careful!!!

Whoa! You Dropped Everything!

Give Me That!!

Sorry! 
No Can Do!
It Has My Name On It!

I Want One ... Now!!!

In That Case
Get Thee Hence
Unto The Father Of Lights
In Whom There Is No Variableness
Neither Shadow Of Turning
And
Say That I Told You The Good News
And
You Believed Me
And
That You Want The Special!

By The Way
If You Stay The Course
I Get A Reward Aka A Star In My Crown!

Come Oooonnnnn! 

Don't These Blessings Ever Stop!?!

Not A Chance, Friend!
They Are Eternal, Everlasting, Forever, Infinite 

Bottomless ...!

... You Can Stop Now! 

My Head Is Spinning ...! 

... Receipt Of A Package Like That
Sounds Like One Then Really Starts Living!

Beloved, You Are Not Lying!
I, Now, Live With Certain Hope!

Jesus Christ Is The One That I Need!

Indeed!
He Blesses Eternally
And 
Eternally Saves!