THE WRONG WAY: Beer And Hymns!?!

Hurt Me Honestly ... With God's Own Truth!

I Thought That I Had Seen Everything Bad There Was To See 
In "The Church Of The Lord"
BUT
I Was Sadly Mistaken
For
There Was Deception
Leaking All Over
Having Drained From Under The Fingernail Of The Fraud!

Imagine My Consternation
When A Church Notice I Read
Declared 
Without Shame Or Hesitation
"Let's Gather At The Local Bar
Sing Hymns and Get Some Beer In We Head!"*

*Literary License Taken To Maintain My Rhyme, Okay!

The Actual Notice Read:

"Quarterly event in a local bar. 

Basically, we drink beer and sing hymns."

Then ...

Another Church Event Notice Talked Thusly: (I'm Waxing Poetic Here, Okay!)

We Will Bless Your Bicycle
Upon Which We Will Then Take A Ride
And When The Ride Is Completed
Upon Fat Tire* We'll Imbibe!

 *More Beer, If You Please!

And Then There Is ...

The Notice From A Pastor To His Congregation
Saying: Come Join Us
And Get Your Tattoo Done Right Here
There's Need To Go Amongst The Masses
Get Your Tattoos* In This Holy Place
We'll Do Them Right Here For A Price That Is Fair!

There Is Also The Church That Has Its Own Tattoo Parlor On Premises As "Outreach!"

* I Want To Read This Pastor's Bible For Myself!
Then Again, Forget His Bible! I Want To Meet His God! NOT!!

Other Notices Preached Yoga
And Enneagram Personality Profiles
AND
They Even Proudly Lifted Up A Male Pastor
His Boyfriend And Their Pet Dog
Whose Name Is Not Really Called Clyde!

I Read The Notices With Consternation!
I Wondered About Their Stress On Esoteric Christianity*!
I Wondered About Their Emphasis
On Yoga And Aesthetics!
I Wondered About The Church
Which Loftily Offered The Ability To Choose Between Alcoholic
And Non-Alcoholic Communion Wine
For It Seems That This Church Has No Inkling
That What Jesus Offered To The Disciples
Was New Wine**
Grape Juice
Fresh Squeezed From The Grapes Picked From The Vine!

* Mystery Religion/Mystery Schools/Hidden Knowledge 
** Unfermented Grape Juice

And, And ...

One Church Has Cage Fighting Matches!
One Church Offers Alcohol
During The Church Service Divine
AND 
All These Things They Say They Offer
BECAUSE
Church Membership Is On The Decline!

Gotta Get Them Dollars! Eh?

Teach About Jesus Christ 

As The Soul's Savior 

AND 

Call Sin By Its Real Name!

Christianity Is An Hospital

Not A Juke Joint

Nor A Bar!

Spread Out The Authentic Medicine

AND

Sin-sick Seeking Souls Will Come

From Near And Far!

I Am Amazed At The Presumption
Of Modern Christianity
Which Apes The World
And Its Bright Wonders 
- As Can Be Seen -
Forgetting To Call Sin By Its First Name
Preaching:

"Love God As You Are!"

"Feed Your Community - Feed The Soul!"

"God Loves You!
No Need To Repent!
He Knows You
For He Can Really See!"

The Sin Of Presumption
Is One Of The Critical Tests 
That Faced
Our King Jesus!

The Sin Of Presumption
Is One Of The Tests
That ALL Mankind
Must Face
To See Whether We Will Test God
By Maliciously Yanking Sin's Chain
While Knowing Full Well
That Satan Is The One Calling
Teasing Your Hair-Trigger Dog!*

*Your Will

The "Modern" Church
Must Step Away From Post-Modern Christianity
With Its Feel-Good
Do Good Good
Get Good Idolatry
For
If Any Being Is On The Throne Of Your Heart
Save Mankind's Savior Jesus Christ;
If Any Searing Desire Is On Your Soul
Save To Be By Jesus Christ Saved;
If Any Need
Surpasses The Need For The Indwelling Holy Spirit
Be Aware
That God The Father Judges No Man
BUT
The Very Jesus Christ You Reject
Is The Same One
Into Whose Holy Hands
In The Final Judgment
You, Me, We
All
Will Fall!